I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
