Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize