Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
