It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
