shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
