just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he shaved USA in his pubs
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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