Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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