i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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