I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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