I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
