White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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