She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
