He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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