69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
