I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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