Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
she peed on how many people?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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