Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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