look no pants
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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