There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
