Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
