Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
