i barfeds in our rink
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
