Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize