When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
