He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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