Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
