The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
