just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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