i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
