Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
