im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
