matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
