hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
