just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
