You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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