woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
