Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize