You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
