Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
