Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
