pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
