We won't sleep together?
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
