Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
