I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
