i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
