She's JV to your varsity
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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