hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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