just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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