it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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