what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
