wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
