There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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