I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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