i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
