It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
