Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
The beer is more important than you right now.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
