You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize