have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
