I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
