my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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