Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
