Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
