I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He did a backflip because drugs
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