its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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