But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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