Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
