It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
