At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
