..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
