Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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