Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
