my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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