so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
