I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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