Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Fuck appropriateness.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize