I wish I could punch you in the face.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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