New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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