I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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