So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
