I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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